to risk or not to risk ?

i am procrastinating planning a major event and grocery shopping and instead i am sitting here at my new study window (so would you if you could see the wide and expansive open skies through it!) and i am thinking about some of the risks that i have taken over the years and how many times i have thought, "that's too hard, too wild, too much, too big, too radical, too lonely, too ______" and how EVERY time He has responded with "trust and obey Me alone". And when i have chosen to say "yes" to that seemingly radical ask of the One who knows me best and still loves me the most (who by the way is absolutely faithful and would NEVER lead me out of His will) it has led to me living life on the road less chosen, doing His will, with a deeply full heart.

i think i need to write another book, or at least a blog...so here i am.

haha. so the definition of risk is : exposure to the chance of injury or loss; a hazard or dangerous chance.

exposure. chance. hazard. dangerous - but they are all just 'potentials' or 'maybes'...what about what might happen to us and to our souls if we don't risk and if we don't expose ourselves to it?

and when is the risk to not take the risk more dangerous than the actual risk itself?

most often. if not always. well, for me anyway...

to stay in our comfort zones and not dare to live everyday life as the big & beautiful adventure that He created it to be for us, to stick with what and who we know instead of be brave enough to be open and vulnerable again, to be too afraid to step out on the to the ledge and take the leap of faith that he requires us to take if we want to live fully awake and fully alive, to go backwards instead of forwards no matter how much we will be challenged and stretched, to allow loneliness to swallow us up when we consider the narrow road - not thinking about the incredible calibre of people that are also on said narrow road, to shrink back instead of spread our wings...and the list goes on.

i trust Him. i really do. with all that I am.
because when i look back over my life i see His hand of love, care, grace and faithfulness threaded magnificently throughout it - whether i knew Him then or not. He knew me + He loved me.

so, i will risk - again...and again...and again.
at His lead and into His will - regardless of how wild it may seem to me.
He sees the bigger picture.
He knows it all.
He sees beyond.
His ways are not my ways.

and i know that through it all, i am never alone.