He does exactly as He promises He will...

When in doubt that God does exactly as He promises us He is going to do - regardless of how extremely radical it seems, no matter how wild and magnificent it may be or how "unqualified" we might feel we are - read Luke 1.

The angel Gabriel appeared to a virgin and told her that she was going to birth the Savior of the world.
That is radical. Beyond radical - sounds crazy!

He greets her in verse 28 (NIV) with "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."

Wow...

Then goes on to say in verse 30 (The Message) "Mary, you have nothing to fear. God has a surprise for you."

I wonder what she was thinking in that moment?

A surprise from God! Wouldn't we all love a surprise from God? A surprise that enters stage left and blows our minds & hearts apart with delight?

But...it's preceded with "you have nothing to fear". Suggesting to me that it is going to require bravery, courage and willingness, no matter what it is.

She trusted God.
She trusted Him to do exactly and He promised He would do...and she KNEW from verse 28 that He was going to be with her.

So, she leaned in, she listened, she trusted and she followed the instructions.

Because she had relationship with Him. Because she knew that He could be trusted.

Her response after Gabriel's radical explanation of what was about to happen to her - because God had chosen her as faithful - is one of my favorite verses in the entire bible...
Luke 1:38 (NIV) - "I am the Lords servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said."

Wow. What a sweet, honest and trusting response.
What would yours be?
What will mine be?

I KNOW that He does exactly as He promises...and I think that I trust Him but when He starts to reveal His promises will I willingly accept them as Mary did in verse 38?

I hope so.
I really hope so.

Verse 38 in the Message says, "Nothing, you see, is impossible with God."

I believe. I do.

Dreams come true

Last night I had a dream.
Dreaming is not unusual for me - when I'm awake and when I'm asleep.

And I often remember them...the details...the scenes...the people...the places.

It's not unusual.

But when I have the same dream 4 nights in a row...I start to highly suspect that God is clearly speaking to me about what is on my heart and what is in my prayers.

Has He ever spoken to you in your dreams?
Confirming questions that you've been asking?
Revealing depths that you might not be open to receive when you are awake?

I'm vulnerable when I'm asleep - I'm fully His.
No distractions.
No hindrances.
No me.
All Him.

So... He's speaking and I'm listening.

I'm taking notice.

I'm taking the dreams back to Him and asking Him to clarify through His word and my journalling.

And I'm expecting Him to.

Are you expecting Him to speak?
He will.

He loves to delight in us as we delight in Him.

Try it?

give it away, give it away now...

for the past 2 days I have, almost continuously, heard the Red Hot Chili Peppers singing this in my head..."give it away, give it away, give it away now.."

then I realized it wasn't the Red Hot Chili Peppers singing to me...it was a message from God.

i feel like He often uses mediums that i love to speak to me - like music and films, to reveal Himself to me. maybe He is OR maybe it's the turning point to me 'finally' getting the message from Him! Ha.

So, this time around - God was telling me to give something away. something that i didn't know i needed to give away and then when i worked out what it was He was talking about i realized that i didn't want to give it away...and then i remembered the power of Him repeating Himself 3 times in the Scriptures...and then concluding it with a "now". and i realized - i wanted to obey Him more than i wanted to hold on the thing that He wanted me to give away.

a little cryptic.

perhaps.

and that's alright. sometimes my journey with Him is...or it seems to be...cryptic - BUT i absolutely 100% trust that He has ALL of the details figured out. and i trust Him WAY more than i will ever trust myself.

So...i gave it away.

and now i am blogging about it in the hope that this somewhat cryptic mid-week message will challenge, prompt, bless or inspire someone...anyone!

He is good.
He can be trusted.
He always only ever wants the best for us.
He sees the bigger picture.
He is a phenomenal Author.

Project: 365 days of grateful [year 1]

367 days ago I started a new photo album, after hearing another woman's "365 grateful journey".
It resonated with me deeply. To take photos every day of things that you are grateful for and then upload them to your album.

Admittedly some days there was a seemingly a million things to be grateful for - my girls, the Word, the sky, my puppy, people I journey life with...and other days it felt like a huge stretch to find even one.

Some days I wanted to take a photo of my breath, because it felt like all I had.

And I had to be ok with myself about that...

This 365 days have truly changed my life...forever. Now I live a life of gracefulness...I'm always looking for things to be grateful for.

The default position of my heart is gratefulness.
My first response is gratefulness.
My mind is postures towards gratefulness.

And it keeps my eyes, heart and mind on Him. always.

I'm still in reflection mode about the beautiful depth of impact on my life this "project" has had.

So...now it is a way of life for me.

On day 366 I woke up and started a new album...

I am grateful for the grateful project.

Never the same.

4 years = 1,460 days

Tonight I am sitting here pondering how long 4 years is...it's 1,460 days.
A lot can happen in 1,460 days...

1,460 days ago the man that I had been married to for 6 years walked out of the family home, never to return.
He has his version of the separation and divorce journey and I have mine - and only God knows the absolute truth.

What I have come to know is this...God is good, He is faithful, His love never fails, He will never leave me or forsake me, He will never run out on me, He loves me for me, I am precious in His sight, I am the apple of His eye, He longs to dance with me, He is continually wooing me unto Himself, He has my best interest on His heart, I am important to Him, I am His & He is mine...and more.

This is not text-book understanding to me...I KNOW it.
I have had to lean in to know it for myself so that I didn't completely fall apart.
I have had to seek Him for the absolute truth so that I didn't lose the plot.
I have had to let Him love me when I felt unlovable.
I have had to choose Him...daily.

Some days out of those 1,460 have been easier than others, but all that suggests is that some of those 1,460 days have been harder too.

I have been lonely some days...but never alone.
I have felt lost some days...but never have been.
I have questioned everything...and some days I still do.

One thing that I know for sure.

I am altogether lovely to Him.

That revelation has taken time, effort, prayer, choice, counseling, encouragement, challenge, trust and love.

But...here I sit tonight - more healed and whole than I have ever been, at a greater level of peace than I have ever known, living at a deeper level of freedom than I have ever known and more radically in love with Jesus than ever before.

By choice.

I am grateful for His great love.
I live by it.

I am lost in Him...no place I'd rather be.

Grateful that 1 day in His courts is better than 1,000 elsewhere.

Loved,
Lovely.
His.

another level of redemption.

6 weeks ago a lovely random lady walked in to Hope Haven while the team were meeting one morning (and we were certain that we had locked the door!) looking for a ladies bathroom.

We welcomed her & showed her the bathroom (where words of life & truth are written all over the mirror!) and while she was in there I gathered up a mini booklet & some brochures and stuff!

She came out & said, "thank you! I'm at the church next door for a funeral & needed the bathroom...who is this 'Hope Foundation'?

Of course...I gladly told her! She then said, "do you do public speaking?" I excitedly said - "yes, I do!". She proceeded to tell me that she runs a women's group & they meet once a month for lunch in the city & she would love me to come & speak one day.

I hear that a lot, so I gave her my card and that was it...

3 weeks ago she called me saying the Lord Mayor had been booked for November but needed to change it to December & could I do it instead!

So...today I spoke for 50 women aged 50+ and an exclusive gentlemans club in the city.

Today God redeemed another broken fragment of my heart.

All because a precious lady needed a loo & she (like I!) didn't want to by-pass the "connection for a reason" moment!

You see, 15 years ago i entered that same club, for a private function...as a sex worker.

Today i entered that club free and expectant for God to do an even deeper healing work inside of me. And He did.

I left that club today an even freer woman than I was when i had walked in.

I'm awed at the depth of His love.
I'm shocked at the variety of layers of pain that He so sweetly broke through today.
I'm loved.
I'm His.
I'm free....

My healing is in His hands, in His timing, by His stripes.

Still processing...had to share.

Faithful God.

3 November 2011

God answered my prayer with a song...

THE most hilarious thing happened to me tonight when I was praying...and being still.

I started to hear Bonnie Tyler singing in my head and/or my heart - maybe it was both.
BUT it was definitely her...and it came, almost immediately, in response to my prayers.
Prayers that only He knows the details of...better than I know them myself.

I am certain that I have not heard this song for probably 20 years. BUT it was like I knew every word.

I then did what wisdom would do...I googled the lyrics. Read them and LAUGHED. They were an answer to my prayers

I heard her singing "Holding out for a hero"...


Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dream
of what I need

[Chorus]

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet

[Chorus]

Up where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I could swear that there's someone somewhere
Watching me

Through the wind and the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach
Like the fire in my blood

Now, only God and I know what the prayer was that this was the answer to. 
BUT - read them again - doesn't this sound so much like Jesus and the love that He so freely gives?

I'll leave it with you...worth a YouTube search - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBwS66EBUcY